inconsistency the consistency
Well, another expansion of time has elapsed, and once again, I find myself in the midst of the realization that I have not dedicated any of that time to updating my blog. That’s not to say my time hasn’t been well spent. I have been updating the podcast portion of the site with new episodes of Easy Education, and I have been going through a foundational understanding of the core photography concepts that I never had an opportunity to be formally trained on, helping refine skills that I have developed over 30+ years. I have also put a selection of my photography on display in a local art gallery for sale, and have already sold enough to cover all my expenses so I didn’t go into the red to simply show off my work. I’ve even been going out with a friend who is new to photography to share the lessons I’ve been learning over the past few months, as well as the insights I have developed over the past few decades, validating that, despite what I tell myself through internal dialogue, I actually know what I’m talking about.
So what’s been new in life?
Well, to start, I turn 40 this week.
40
four. zero.
I’m having the same existential crisis I had in my last week of 29 as I was turning 30. The constant question of, “What have I done with the last decade of my life?”
Leaving my 20’s was a challenge for me. I went through divorce, bankruptcy, a series of SSRI prescriptions, and a depression so deep that I had a real challenge in finding an alternative to a permanent solution that I was pursuing. But also, the end of my 20’s were the beginning of putting myself on a new track. I started barber school at 28, and that was probably the single most intimidating decision of that entire decade.
Over the past few months, I’ve been calling the different decades of my life “story arcs.” The first decade was simply “being a kid” and I didn’t know anything about anything. My second decade was “the training grounds” where I was getting lessons on life. Girls, music, hobbies, religion. Take it all in with the good and the bad, but go into the next decade with an inkling of an idea. The next decade, my 20’s, was a series of fuck ups entitled “what not to do a second time.” I got married far too young before I learned who I really was. I committed to a religious institution before developing a true sense of belief in anything. I made incredibly poor financial decisions.
Going into the story arc of my 30’s, I really wanted to focus on “course correction.” This is where I learned a new trade, started a business, opened a shop, hired people I enjoyed being around. I learned the lessons from my financial mistakes of my 20’s, and I simplified my life into things that brought me more simple joy instead of stretching myself too thin. I finally began paying attention to how important diet and exercise were. I stopped drinking alcohol and smoking weed entirely. I put more time into the hobbies that brought me happiness and learned new skills that would enhance those hobbies. I cut ties with the relationships that were not providing me any positive influence. In my 30’s, I have made difficult decisions, and I have persevered through them, and I like the direction I am now heading.
So now, I am on the precipice of the next story arc of my life, my 40’s. I am a month away from having the bulk of my debt only being a mortgage payment as we are in the process of buying a house, my barbershop is going strong, and I am in the best physical and mental condition of my life. I don’t know what this chapter is going to be called, and I don’t think it will have earned a name until I get to the tail end of it, but regardless, this is the first time in my life that I am genuinely excited for what a new decade will bring because I see the potential and possibilities that come alongside it.
Now that I have bored you with my existential ramblings, let me share something fun about the past few weeks.
I performed a wedding ceremony in Washington state over the 4th of July weekend. I’m going to tell you a story, and then I’m just going to give you some eye candy so you can be on with the rest of your day.
Hailie and I have been planning this trip since January. We had an AirBNB and a vacation planned around this for months. Two days before we drove out, her back went out and she was bedridden for weeks. Needless to say, she couldn’t be in a car for 7 to 8 hours straight, so I had to go solo. I canceled the room, and decided to turn the trip into something that I would still be able to enjoy, just in a completely different way.
I rode out the afternoon of the 2nd, and stayed at a rest stop about two hours before getting to Portland. Sleeping in the back of my car seemed like a great idea, but I completely forgot how much traffic rest stops get, so the entire night was filled with the sounds of long haul trucks coming and going. Still worth it though, because I strategically placed myself in the best place for the next morning’s venture. I woke up at 5 am and drove to Multnomah Falls. My goal was to hike to the top, and watch the sunrise from the top of the waterfalls. Great in theory, but my camera bag is just shy of 30 pounds, and halfway up the trail I realized I wasn't going to get a shower in before the ceremony that night, so I was going to need to use a metric ton of wet wipes when I got back to the car. There was one point where I even asked myself, “Is this worth it?” and turned around. Five steps after turning around, I saw the view from the halfway point and said, “When are you going to be back here, and are you going to be able to live with yourself for backing out when things got challenging? You’ll probably never have a chance to be here this early again, and you’ll hate yourself for giving up your opportunity.” I’m not always the nicest to myself, but occasionally that’s the motivation that I need. I finished the rest of the hike and was rewarded with a gorgeous view that was shared with nobody else, it was all for me.
I made it back to the car around 7:30, and tried to figure out breakfast plans. I knew it was going to be an hour before I made it into Portland, and I was debating VooDoo donuts because I’ve never been, but I ultimately decided I didn’t want to deal with parking and walking around in Portland, so I started looking for restaurants across the river in Vancouver.
I came across a restaurant called Cecilia with an overwhelming amount of positive fanfare with a consistency in the reviews. “If you can get a reservation” was a phrase repeated multiple times throughout all the posts of people who had visited. I looked at their online booking and saw no times available, but I was curious if I could get somewhere by calling the host. I was told that they had no time available, but I mentioned that I was traveling solo and would be in and out quickly. The host told me, “If you can be here in an hour, I can squeeze you into a spot at the bar.” “Perfect, it will take me 45 minutes to drive there anyways.”
I arrived, got seated at the bar and began talking with the bartender. She went in to hand me the menu, and I just handed it back to her. “I’m going to be honest, I will likely never be here again, and everything online is so positive that I just want to have an experience. Try to keep my meal under $30, but I’ll eat anything you put in front of me.” She looked at me, a little puzzled, but then she asked me, “What do you have going on today? I want to make a good choice.” “I’m performing a wedding ceremony later today, and I’ve got some exploring to do. So something that will give me enough to fuel me for the day, and maybe heavy on protein. I’m more savory than sweet.” “Perfect, I know exactly what to put in for you.”
She put in my order and helped a few other customers out before coming back to ask me the obvious question. “Do you order food like this often?” “Honestly, any chance that I can, especially in new places. I have a bit of a philosophy on it. If I look through the menu, I’m comparing each item to the time that I’ve had the same dish at my favorite place. If I order eggs benedict from you, the entire time that I’m waiting for me meal, I’m subconsciously thinking ‘I hope this is as consistent as the hollandaise at Goldy’s or as lemony as it is at Fork.’ I have gotten to a point where I recognize that it doesn’t make good business sense for a kitchen to put out bad food, so I trust that I will be eating, and then I leave all expectations at the door. It gives me a chance to be excited for the meal that is placed in front of me, and I get to truly experience the flavors as I’m tasting it for the first time instead of making a mental comparison before the dish even arrives. I just like food, and usually this makes the whole experience a lot more fun.”
We talked for a brief moment before she went to help some of the other patrons. Five minutes later, the kitchen manager comes by my corner of the bar with a plate in hand and says, “Your server told me what you’re doing today, and I think that’s amazing that you just try to find experiences, so I wanted you to got the full treatment today. Most people come in specifically for these because it’s one of our specialties, but these are ricotta donuts on a berry compote. We just wanted you to get the full experience, so these are on the house for choosing us in your only time in town.”
Let me make two comments. One, holy individualized service batman. That literally blew my mind. Second, he had no idea that my all time favorite breakfast item came from a local restaurant in town that recently closed. It was called white rabbit, and on the first Saturday of the month, they served breakfast from a window on the side of the building, and the one thing that everyone got during that Saturday, was ricotta donuts. If I had known ricotta donuts were on the menu, I would have fallen into the trap of, “I bet they aren’t as good as the ones that White Rabbit used to make.” Instead, I am grinning ear to ear as I see a plate of one of my favorite foods, and I was so taken aback by the hospitality that White Rabbit was the furthest thing on my mind. Additionally, these were HANDS DOWN the best ricotta donuts I have ever eaten, and I certainly polished off the entire plate. A few minutes later, my order came in. Chilaquiles with slow braised beef rib and a house made habanero salsa. This is a menu item I have skipped over in countless restaurants, it’s always been available, it just never called out to me, and this is the other reason I love ordering food like this, it forces me to try new things. I am so glad she chose it, too. Considering this was my first time with the dish, I don’t think there could have been a better preparation of it.
I finished my meal, left my tip, and went back onto the road. Amazing sunrise hike followed by an amazing breakfast, what could top it off?
I arrived at the property hours earlier than I should have. The ceremony was in a small town, and there was nothing to do but wander around a local Walmart, so I wanted to see the property when nobody was there. As I was wandering around, a doe led her to spotted fawns to a garden, and the baby deer started eating flowers.
Are you kidding me? Are you seriously kidding me? How can this day get any better?
Hours pass and the ceremony is about to start, and I realize that I’m only three hours away from Seattle. A friend that I haven’t seen in a few years lives just outside, and I texted him. “If you let me crash on your couch, I could give you a hug and buy you breakfast. You down?” “Absolutely, what time will you be here?”
The ceremony comes and goes, it was beautiful and the bride had an AMAZING black dress that was more of a statement than practically any ceremony I have ever been a part of, but at 7:30 I get back on the road to Seattle.
It’s now the morning of the 4th. I have a diner breakfast with my friend and his wife, and I appreciate the fact that there are people that have been in my life for as long as they have. The groom was a roommate of mine 13 years ago, and my buddy in Seattle is someone I’ve known for nearly 20 years. They have seen me through many different parts of my story arcs, and they’ve stuck around for the chaos I offer. But now was the time to head home.
Instead of driving straight back to the treasure valley, I decided I should satiate a curiosity. “What does Leavenworth look like on America’s 250th birthday?” Leavenworth is a quaint little mountain town that has an entire downtown district that is built with German architecture. It’s like little Bavaria in the mountains, and during Christmas it looks like a Thomas Kinkade painting come to life. The idea of American patriotism on full display to a backdrop of German architecture being only two hours away was too good of an opportunity to pass up, so I took the detour. I arrived, and the city was bustling with visitors from all parts. Not only were there tourists from the PNW, international visitors in Washington for the World Cup also came into the city. It was a tiny town bursting at the seams, and the lines for food and beer were longer than anything I could have possibly imagined. After spending a few hours people watching, I decided it was finally time to head home.
Now, one thing I didn’t take into consideration when getting on the road, is that there is absolutely ZERO traffic on America’s 250th birthday, especially on the highways, and especially when it gets closer to the time that fireworks will be going off. I arrived at the Oregon/Idaho border right around 10pm, and the entire drive into Idaho was filled with empty roads ahead, and walls of fireworks on either side of my car. Nobody in my state cares about the legality of fireworks, and the smaller the town, the more redneck the explosions. Payette, Fruitland, Caldwell, Nampa, every subdivision in every city had pockets of fireworks going off constantly on either side of me my entire ride home. It was like driving through a corridor of a fireworks testing facility, only it spanned the entire western part of the state. I don’t think I will ever be in a position to drive through that again, and I also don’t think it will ever be as spectacular as how hard people went for the 250 celebration, but after driving 1400 miles in 48 hours, it was the greatest way to cap off the quick trip.
I turn 40 on Wednesday, and since Hailie wasn’t able to go on this trip to Washington with me, we’ve planned a trip to Yellowstone. This will be the first time we have gone since the summer of Covid. I’m excited because I have had six years of experience using my camera, and a much better lens system for wildlife. I will have pictures when we return the first week of August.
Until then.
-Chris
