Effort Under Pressure
It’s Friday evening at 8:15 after a day that required me to stay at work an hour later than I typically do. On top of my work schedule, I’ve had a hard time getting adequate sleep this week. Instead of waking up with my alarm at 5:30am, I’ve been waking up at 4:30 with an inability to get that final hour of sleep back. I have been exhausted, and it has been all my effort to not fall asleep on the couch while trying to spend time with my wife. And yet, instead of relaxing and recovering, here I am, standing at the desk in my office, writing an essay that I told myself was important to complete.
Why is it so important, and more importantly, who is it important for? Certainly not the vast quantity of readers that have begun to tune in to the adventure of my adult home-schooling. I’m not doing this so my parents will be proud of me, or so I can earn the reputation of “top of his class” (although by all technicalities, I am).
The question that was brought up this week was, what actually sustains effort under pressure? I believe that foresight into possibilities is what sustains me personally, and it is because I have a driving motivation to educate myself and creating habits that will sustain me in the future. I know that finishing this curriculum I have built for myself will put things in my life that I have been actively seeking. Better creative writing skills. An ability to focus on, and dedicate time, to writing consistently. Feedback to make my writing more concise. Confidence in speaking on camera as a subject matter expert. All of these are skillsets that I have wished and wanted for, but never found on my own.
In creating this curriculum for myself, a key component was building a survey that would allow me to find an educational path that would offer me the most success through guiding me directly through the path I’ve naturally stumbled upon, while giving me a glimpse of what my future can be. I have always been someone who loved sharing information and educating others, I have always been someone who enjoyed telling stories, now I want to be a person who can actively demonstrate that skillset to the masses.
The thing that sustains us under pressure, is a greater purpose. For some it might be a relationship, maybe with a significant other, perhaps a deity, or it could even be their child. For others, it may be a comfortable lifestyle, or the excitement of a life well lived. For me, I have always wanted to fulfill my ability to enjoy all aspects of my life, and share that experience as encouragement for others to live their lives to the fullest they are capable of. It’s in this, that I find purpose, and that’s why I will continue to write these essays, even when my body wants me to tap out.
